Supporting someone you think is being abused

If you are worried that someone you know is being abused or mistreated, it is important to approach the situation with care and compassion.

On this page, you will find effective strategies and tips on how to have a supportive conversation with them. Learn how to express your concerns gently, offer your support, and guide them towards the help they may need.

• Be non-judgmental: Avoid criticising the person causing harm or the person experiencing abuse. This can make the person defensive and unwilling to talk. Understand that there are many reasons why someone might stay in an abusive situation. Focus on their safety and wellbeing and remind them that help is available.
• Listen, acknowledge, support: Acknowledge their feelings and reassure them that you believe them and that the abuse is not their fault. Let them know that support is available. Even if they refuse help at first, continue to support them. They might accept help later when they feel more confident.
• Help identify steps they can take: Ensure their safety before taking any action. If they open up, they might need your help to get started. This could include knowing who to contact, understanding their options, or gathering evidence.
• Encourage participation: Isolation increases the risk of abuse, especially for older adults. Encourage them to stay connected with others and engage in activities outside the home. It's important for them to have a trusted person to talk to if abuse occurs.
• Connect with people who can provide help and guidance: Abuse and mistreatment can involve complex social and legal issues. Reassure them that help is available and ask how you can best support them.

Role of friends and family in preventing adult abuse

As a friend or family member, you play an important role in safeguarding the wellbeing of those close to you. Here are some practical steps you can take to support and protect loved ones from potential abuse.

Watch for signs of abuse - look out for behaviours that might indicate adult abuse.  Learn about the signs of abuse.

Monitor medication use - ensure medication is not being used inappropriately, withheld, or taken away.

Check for financial abuse - with the person's permission, review their bank accounts and credit card statements for unusual transactions. Our page on protecting finance and property provides practical tips.

Be available and offer respite - regular social contact encourages people to discuss any issues they may have. It also gives caregivers a chance to take a break.

Help them to access services - help the person access services that empower them to make informed decisions and maintain their independence.

Why do some people stay silent about abuse or mistreatment?

There are many reasons why someone might not talk about abuse or seek help, they may:

• Feel embarrassed or ashamed about a family member's actions.
• Not know who to trust or what steps to take.
• Not understand what abuse is or their legal and human rights.
• Not recognise their situation as abuse.
• Feel responsible for the abuse.
• Rely on the person causing harm for basic needs like food, shelter, clothing, and health care.
• Be afraid of what will happen if the person causing harm finds out.
• Fear being placed in residential care if they are an older adult.
• Feel hopeless and powerless.
• Believe there are no agencies that can help.
• Not have a chance to talk about the abuse.

What if the person does not want your help?

It is common for people to decline help, even if they feel distressed, fearful, or frustrated. They might deny the abuse or defend the person causing harm. Here are some tips to support them:

• Let them know you are available to talk when they are ready.
• Suggest contacting another relative or friend who can help.
• Give them information on support organisations.
• Offer to phone the Adult Safeguarding Unit on 1800 372 310 or email adultsafeguardingunit@sa.gov.au for free, confidential information and advice on their behalf.

If you are still worried about someone

You can contact the Adult Safeguarding Unit for advice or to report suspected abuse. They can talk through your concerns and help you understand what to do next.

Contact the Adult Safeguarding Unit in the way that works best for you:

Online: Complete the Adult Safeguarding Unit - Online contact form

Phone: 1800 372 310 Monday to Friday, 9:00 am to 4:00 pm (except public holidays)

Email: adultsafeguardingunit@sa.gov.au

Emergency: If life is in danger, phone 000 (triple zero) or contact emergency services.